You Win, I Win

How to Achieve a Winning Outcome from Persuasive Negotiations

Author: Derek Arden

This book encompasses all the practical aspects I have learned over 25 years as: 1. A global business negotiator. 2. A student of the best academic negotiation minds on the planet (Harvard Business School and their Negotiation Project). 3. A professional speaker who spared no effort to explain these concepts in simple terms from stages in 27 countries across all five continents. I have made the book simple and easy to read, divided into three easy-to-understand parts. In each part, I applied the rule of brevity and simplicity, making the information easy to read, comprehend, and apply. Part 1 discusses negotiation and why you should practice negotiation skills all the time and always think about how to elevate your skills; negotiation encompasses every area of personal skills. The more we learn, the more we gain – as one of my teachers said. Part 2 contains 11 steps you should know to be an effective negotiator, and it also provides all the necessary tips and methods to continue elevating your skills to become a master negotiator. Part 3 contains short chapters called "Key Points." These are for referring to specific situations. You can read the parts in any order that suits you, or you can read them from beginning to end. Each chapter begins with an introductory outline explaining what you will learn and ends with a summary. I have also highlighted key points! Throughout the book, as well as some appropriate warnings, so you can easily refer to the book in any important negotiation you might undertake. In addition, there is a self-assessment exercise you should complete, and I hope you find it useful. There are many stories I wanted to tell you to illustrate certain points, such as: being asked to leave meetings violently; being threatened or harassed; someone attempting to bribe me; working with a prince, but I couldn't, due to the confidential nature of my work. In fact, my wonderful editor, Eloise Cook from Pearson publishing house, once told me, she often says what she thinks without flattery: "This story, Derek, sounds more like a spy novel than a business negotiation story." This was when we were staying in a room in Paris, where we had every reason to believe the room was bugged. If you want to know more about this story, why not contact us then? Over the past twenty-five years, I have made it my goal to always associate with accomplished individuals; because you not only learn from them, but their style and essence inspire you. If you cannot meet them, then buy their books, go to their conferences, and watch their videos, as I have done my best to include excerpts of their wisdom in this book. Inherently, negotiation involves psychological principles, meaning the psychology of how to act. Keep this in mind as you read the book. And ask yourself: "What will the other person gain from this?" MSFM – this is not a radio station – but it means "What's in it for me?" Remember that everyone is different, and you will never know where the other person is coming from until you ask! Keep this book on your desk or in your library and refer to it whenever you are in a negotiation situation – which is more often than you might think. As a friend reminded me many years ago, self-help books are written for use, not for sitting on shelves: "They are for self-development, not shelf-development."