Modern attachment theory was developed by the genius John Bowlby (1969, 1973, 1980, 1988), and its first model was developed by modern social psychologists (Cassidy and Shaver 2008, Mikulniker and Shaver 2016). What are the principles of the modern theory?

There are three general facts to be aware of.

First: The basis of attachment theory is relational, meaning that it views the individual in the context of his closest relationships with others, and it depicts him as essentially a social being who creates bonds with others; a creation that is, in reality, the most important means for human beings to survive.

The second fact is that the theory is concerned with emotions and their regulation. It pays special attention to fear, not just everyday fears, but also existential fear, which reflects fundamental issues such as feelings of helplessness and weakness. This, in turn, reflects fears of death, isolation, loneliness, and loss. The most important thing for a person's well-being and mental health is: Can these factors be addressed in a way that improves resilience and increases vitality?

The third fact is that this theory is evolutionary, meaning it is concerned with individual development and the factors that facilitate or hinder adaptation. The theory believes that intimate relationships with trusted individuals create the most suitable environment for the development of the human mind, nervous system, and basic behavioral patterns, and represent the appropriate context for optimal development.

• Attachment theory is an evidence-based evolutionary theory that studies personality and prioritizes the role of emotion regulation and connection with trusted individuals, making this a core component of mental health and well-being.

The greatness of this perspective lies in its connection between interaction and biology, between mental model and message, between self and method, and in its identification of the most important human needs and fears.

It also answers the eternal burning question: What is love and why is it so important?