Golden Rules for Managing Fraternal Conflicts

Teach your son how to solve his problems with his siblings

Author's name: Dr. Abdullah Muhammad Abd al-Mut'i

I asked a number of judges and lawyers about the percentage of court cases filed by siblings against each other. They said: About 20%. That is, one-fifth of court cases are between siblings, and include inheritance issues, assault, verbal abuse, and others. This prompted me to ask some of those in charge of family reconciliation committees: What problems arise between siblings? And how do you resolve them? They said: Many problems don't require much creativity to be resolved. They only require a simple dialogue between siblings, a letting go of the ego, a desire to preserve love, and training in childhood and adolescence on ways to resolve problems and disputes calmly and lovingly. Dear educator, one of Satan's main goals is to spoil the relationship between brothers and strive to separate them. Therefore, the reward of the one who reconciles them is great, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Shall I not tell you of something that is better than fasting, prayer, and charity?" They said: "Yes." He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Reconciling rifts between people is a shaver. I do not say that it shaves the hair, but it shaves the faith." [Sahih Abi Dawud, Al-Albani, Hadith No. 4919] Hence, your endeavor to teach your children how to solve their problems, and raise them on practical and theoretical love, all of this effort will be rewarded - God willing - with a reward that is greater than the reward of your prayers, fasting, and charity. In order for us to have a share of the reward of reform between brothers, and in order for us to prevent Satan from causing enmity between our children, I have endeavored in this book to present practical ideas that help parents in managing conflict between children, and teach the brother (and sister) how to solve their problems with their brothers with creativity and love.