We should have compassion for ourselves. The challenges of finding love are so complex that we still struggle to determine how to enter into good relationships. The signs of our failure are visible all around us. What is love based on? This is a difficult question to answer! Is it based on instinctive attraction, or on rational choice? Choosing a partner is one of the most difficult decisions of all, and the cost of repeated failure is enormous. The way love transforms our lives, compared to the hopes we place in it, can seem deeply disappointing when we consider the statistics on marital unhappiness and the pain of disappointment. This book explains how our early experiences dictate how and whom we love. It offers an important set of ideas to help us make safer, more creative, and more effective choices in love. It brings together the best psychological insights, experiences, and ideas we hold about finding and keeping love. The School of Life is a global organization that helps people live