Morning of December 25th

I have experienced both sides of absence, O mother. I experienced them in two contradictory motherhoods, separated in time, and in which presence and absence were intertwined. In both cases, I did not achieve in absence anything resembling you, O Sakina. You remained in both opposites a complete mother who held fast to her motherhood, making it her name, her secret, and her destiny. She borrowed from it what fire borrows from fire, and what love spends from love. As for me, I did not know of motherhood, in both instances, other than the dissonance of opposites that deny each other, and one curses the other. Between me and my first motherhood, I threw blind veils; and between me and my second motherhood, I removed all veils, as if I cannot bear the alliance of opposites. Thus, I fled from negligence to self-retribution, the fearful fleeing from one sin to another! Sin, Sakina, is a difficult retribution that is hard to escape when we inherit it by a predestined will that necessitates what entrenches it and multiplies, with the passage of time, its circles, withdrawals, and appendages!