Power of presence

How parental presence shapes our children's personalities and way of thinking

Author Name: Tina Payne Bryson, Daniel J. Siegel

We've written this book for all the imperfect parents who care deeply about their children (and imperfect grandparents, teachers, professors, and anyone who cares for any child). Our central message is one of comfort and hope: When you're unsure how to respond to your child in a given situation, don't worry. There's always one thing you can do, and that's the absolute best thing. Instead of worrying or trying to achieve a level of perfection that simply doesn't exist; you just have to be.
What we mean by presence is simple: being present for your children. It means being physically present, and being a beneficial presence. Be present when you meet their needs, when you love them, when you discipline them, when you laugh with them, and even when you argue with them. You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to read all the best-selling parenting books, or include them in all the enriching activities. There's no need for someone else to share the parenting responsibility with you. You don't have to know exactly what you're doing; you just have to be present.
Being present means being fully present—consciously and attentively—when you are with your child. When we are present with our children, our presence is mentally and emotionally present in the moment. There is no past or future, only the here and now. You must learn how to be present in a way that most strengthens you as a parent and fosters resilience and strength in your child. The power of being present is what enables us to cultivate a capable mindset in our children—even if we fail on a regular basis.