veiled woman

I am waiting. My life is arranged for everyone, like a house no one lives in. I wait for night to sleep and for morning to go to prison. I wait for nine o'clock to start at my office, and when I return, I wait for night, then morning. I wait for another job opportunity. I wait for the weekend to end so I can return. I wait for Hassan to decide what he wants about our relationship and I wait for him to leave me and disappear. I wait for a new man to start a new relationship. I wait in the car. I wait in life. I wait for cancer to remove my breast and I wait for cancer to remove my uterus. I wait for the days to pass so I can reach my age. I am waiting. As long as I am here, life is safe, without worry. Nothing will happen while waiting, and I am waiting. In the theater, a film about my life was shown. In the film, I see myself in a theater waiting to watch a film that tells my life story. I see myself standing in a theater watching a film about my life story... In these endlessly interwoven films, I realize how boring this film is. Yet, we don't all stay where we are. We repeat, we wait. We don't hope to be afraid or to speak. We will stay here, like others in our seats, watching our reflections in the prince. There is nothing outside worth worrying about. This may be the best we have in life, so why risk it? Why should I risk it? I will stay here. The best thing that happens in life is not to speak, say the women who wait. I wait. My life is perfectly ordered, like a house no one lives in. I wait for night to sleep and for morning to go to prison. I wait for five o'clock to leave my office, then I return and wait for night again, and morning. And I wait for another job opportunity. I wait for the weekend to go to the village and for Sunday evening to return to the city. I wait for Hassan to decide what he wants about our relationship, and I wait for him to break up with me and disappear. I wait for a new man to start a new relationship. I wait in the car. I wait in life. I wait for breast cancer to remove my breast, and I wait for uterine cancer to remove my uterus. I wait for the days to pass and for my age to be etched on my face. I wait. As long as I am here, life is safe and worry-free. Nothing will happen in the waiting room, and here I am, waiting. In the waiting room, there's a screen showing a film about my life. I see myself in the film, sitting in a waiting room, watching a film that tells the story of my life. In this film, I see myself sitting in a waiting room, watching a film about my life story… In this vicious cycle of overlapping films, I realize how boring this film is. And yet, we all stay where we are. We repeat ourselves in waiting. We don't want to be afraid or anxious. We'll stay here, sitting in our seats, watching our reflections in the mirror and repeating what we do. There's nothing outside worth worrying about. This might be the best thing that ever happens to us. Why take a risk? Why should I? I'll stay here. The best thing that ever happens in life is for nothing to happen, as the waiters say.